Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Mid Semester Exams are arriving

In one of the leading universities across India, there has been a massive revolution. The students of SVNIT (Seriously Vella National Institute of TimePass) have started to laugh at the professor's jokes. When we reached out to the students and asked them why this sudden degradation in sense of humour, the students were just as clueless as if they have been asked about the topics that they are studying. "Students are just reacting to the stress, this is temporary and would soon go away" we overheard one watchman, talking to another. One of the students named Shashank has already started with the syllabus, when the spokesperson reached out to him he denied all the allegations and vehemently accused our great education system to show his loyalty for the majority. He then quickly disappeared into the abyss of library. Another student Rakesh has also picked up a book, .. no no not the subject book  but the book "Exam Warriors", by our honorable Prime Minister which talks about how to reduce stress among students. After reading the book, Rakesh has decided to increase his sleeping quota from 14 hours a day to 16 hours a day as there is a complete chapter in the book titled, "Sleep is your greatest weapon, embrace it". Rakesh also claims that he has been supporting Prime Minister's campaign of "Exam pe charcha" since last year but the faculty here had him detained for the same. He says "Exam pe charcha is one of the best ways to reduce stress during exams as most students study just a night before exams" but for some reason the authorities have not allowed discussions during the exam as of time of writing this article. Some of the students have even reduced meme tagging their friends from 4 a day to just 2 a day. Inspired by this sudden shift in student's behaviour the UN has amended it's Article 3 of the Geneva Convention which now states that all prisoners must be treated humanely, and not tortured with techniques like induced psychosis, physical torture and one night exam cramming.